We quickly fall into a morning routine of emptying, showering, dressing, administering and eating. Tori leaves me an outfit on the bed and goes downstairs to prepare me a fruit salad and to lay out my cocktail of drugs on the table, following a chart she has made for herself and arranging the drugs in … More Chapter Twenty-Eight: Neck-Braces, Tweezers and Egg Shells

The green and brown flashes of California’s mid-summer combine with the elaborate smells of a non-sterile world to overwhelm my senses as we make our way past blurring cars and road signs on the way home. I feel suddenly consumed with tiredness as we pull into our garage, but it’s only two hours before we … More Chapter Twenty-Seven: More Surprises

This morning I am finally switched to a smaller wheelchair and am taught how to manoeuvre myself in it by using my heels to pull at the ground beneath me. It is exhausting and slow going, but the freedom of being able to go wherever I want, whenever I want is game changing and makes … More Chapter Twenty-Six: Time to go Home

“Good morning Lucy”, Dr Frantz walks over to my window to open my shades. With a mane of curly red hair, Dr Frantz is a modern-day Boudicca who visits me every morning to check on my rehab progress. “Your test results are back, and I’m afraid it’s another UTI. But this one is a hyper-resistant … More Chapter Twenty-Five: In Lockdown

It is mid-afternoon – my two-hour break between therapy – and I am sitting on the loo again, where I spend most of my free time. Balancing an iPad on my lap, I fixate on the YouTube video of a gushing waterfall and gently blow bubbles through a straw into a cup of water. I … More Chapter Twenty-Four: I Still Don’t Think You Got It

Today is hard. I feel lonely, exhausted, and embarrassingly sorry for myself. I’ve cried a lot. In fact I don’t think I’ve cried so much since the worst day. The slightest thing sets me off; I dropped my brush on the floor, I can’t get the straw out of it’s plastic wrapper with one hand, … More Chapter Twenty-Three: Riding the Rollercoaster

“Good morning Princess Consuela Banana Hammock”, my nurse says, glancing at my white board before flashing me an earnest ‘did I get-that right?’ smile. He presses the button at the side of my bed to lift my head up and passes me a paper cup of water. “I just need to give you your tablets … More Chapter Twenty-Two: What a Place

Get me up on my feet? Surely not. I look around me for some sort of machine that will slowly lift me one degree at a time until I am upright, but can’t seem to find one. “I’d also like to introduce you to this”, Allison holds up a menacing black plastic boot covered in … More Chapter Twenty-One: Get Up, Stand Up